The United States of “Blame”

To preface this post please let me say that I am not a sociologist. These are merely my opinions on blame and the effect it has on society today.

For the past year I have been struggling with the concept of “Blame” in the United States. It has consumed our country. It is front and center in everything that happens. We keep seeing tragedy in the news. Whether a mass shooting or immigration issues, our immediate reaction is whose fault is it? This is messed up.

Sure, blame gives us a sense of closure. Blame gives us an answer to why bad things happen; but blame will never ever solve a problem. Blame, on the other hand, does cause more problems. You see, blame divides us. Blame puts us in a position of choosing sides. In mass shootings we can sit and debate about whether guns are to blame or whether the shooter’s mental heath is to blame. Well, in reality, it’s not that simple. Life isn’t black and white; while blame is. Sure maybe it makes us feel better, but we are wasting our time and energy on trying to pin an action on something or someone’s shoulders.

Blame is retroactive. Blame focuses on the past instead of the future. We need to stop wasting our time on trying to figure out who is at fault. Because no matter how hard we focus on fault, we cannot go back and change what happened. Blame is a roadblock to making actual change.

Blame and judgement lead to fear. Fear causes division. Division causes a crumbling foundation to unity.  We are not united. We are more divided than ever. Currently our country is denying human rights to individuals, and we are spending more time figuring out who to blame over immigration issues. Forget what you think about immigration. We are all human. Don’t let blame get in the was of denying rights to humans.

Blame and disagreement are not the same. Disagreement is not malicious. Disagreement does not ask for persecution. Disagreement does not strip us of our right to be human. Please stop searching for blame and search for solutions and compromise. If you don’t agree with something; agree to disagree. The blame game has gone too far and I am sick of it.

 

 

Let’s do away with the word “Creepy”

“Don’t talk to strangers”; advice that has been given to us since we were little kids. This information was pounded into our heads from a young age. The message was simple; other people are scary. Our parents had good intentions. By staying away from strangers we would be safe, and safety is always important.

This message stayed with us as we grew up. Don’t talk to strangers. Only talk to people who are “safe”. However, safety should no longer be a huge concern. Most of the time we can take care of ourselves. We do not need anyone to look after us anymore, because we can take care of ourselves.

Now I’m not implying that if a stranger walks up to us and starts a conversation that our instant response is, “Sorry, I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.” However, our response is not too different. We give them the cold shoulder until they leave, turn to our friends and say, “Wow, that was creepy.” A stranger coming up to you and generating conversation is considered creepy today. What is wrong with that?

Creepy is defined as, “unnerving through fear”. When we use creepy (or “creeper”) to describe someone, we are saying that that person actually scares us. I can honestly say that I have heard that term used among GEN-Y quite frequently. Apparently we all fear each other.

And we do. I walk around my college campus and it is quite frustrating to see how we interact with strangers. When walking around by myself, I sometimes find myself playing “the eye contact” game. The game is simple, make eye contact with the individuals who walk by you. If the other person breaks eye contact first, you win! The results are quite hilarious and sad at the same time. This is because when I get near someone, they don’t look at me at all. They look away and do everything they can to avoid eye contact.

Creepiness makes us feel alone. It is what makes us feel lost when surrounded by people. It is what makes us fear going out into public by ourselves. We not only fear that others are “creepy”, but we fear that others will view us as being “creepy”.

The fact is very few people are actually creepy. On a college campus for example, a majority of people we call creepy, are not creepy at all. They are actually just different. They may not be exactly the same as the people we are familiar with talking to, but they shouldn’t have to be. They shouldn’t be considered “creepy” for being different. They should be proud of who they are without being judged by others.

This is a call to do away with calling people “creepy”. There should not be a social stigma in going up to a stranger and talking to them. Think about when was the last time you walked up to someone you didn’t know and started a conversation with them. It doesn’t happen very often. Meeting people through others is not the only way we are allowed to connect. Embrace talking to people who are different. Embrace talking to strangers, and for goodness sake stop calling everyone “creepy”!

There are some people out there who are creepy, but the vast majority of us are not. Let’s get more realistic and stop living in fear of our differences. Let’s stop living in a place where walking up to strangers and asking to join them for a cup of coffee is a problem. We should all try to talk to strangers. We should want to live in a world that is “creepy-free”.